Thursday, December 15, 2011

It's almost shocking

In order to really understand this post, you have to watch this video first.

It's almost shocking how wrong these two gits seem to get, well, just about everything. So much so that I really found it amusing. Beasts of War is great and if you haven't seen their videos before, really check them out, especially all of their Infinity ones. I gotta be honest and say that without Beasts, I never would have played Infinity before.

Anyway, down to what is really shocking about this video. Within the first 30 seconds, these blokes are already getting shite wrong. Apparently somewhere out there in the UK or Ireland where people have accents amusing for a Mid-Atlantic native such as myself*, the Tau Empire are a bunch of "Marxist, Leninist, Communists." Obviously, these guys aren't history majors. It's Feudal Japan, guys. FEUDAL JAPAN. Look it up. They've got a freaking caste system for god's sake, that kind of, just a little, goes against the fundamental core-beliefs of communism. If there is any 40k army based on communism,  it is the Imperial Guard with their Commissars, totalitarian state, Vahallan Ice Warriors, Chekov, disregard for individual rights, and their mass-produced utilitarian hulking tanks. It's almost too obvious.

Moving from there, they delve into the unit entries and literal scratch their heads at almost every unit.  The Kroot are a good example of how little these guys understand about running a Tau Cadre in combat. They keep talking about how Kroot should be able to assault and how it's strange they don't have power weapons and they almost make the correct assessment that Kroot are actually good, but then are derailed by the fact that Kroot have rapid fire weapons...scratches chin, head, armpit... Kroot are not meant to be assaulting things, ya silly smegheads- they're meat shields.

At one point these guys lament that if only there was something to stop the enemy from getting to the Tau, because, oh, they're so bad at fighting...if only! Listen up, there is. It's the piranha and little drone buddies. Apparently these guys haven't heard the old wargamers' saying...a good Tau army is like an onion, it's got lots of layers and makes people cry.

It's just all so wrong...

Well, thar ya 'ave it, guys. Post a comment, tell us what ya think.

*Seriously, can someone place Darrel's accent for me? It is both confounding and amusing to me. I could listen to it all day.

26 comments:

davetaylor said...

I'm not going to comment on the Tau content, but the Beasts of War team are from Northern Ireland, not Scotland ; )

Cheers
Dave

TheGraveMind said...

I'm sure they have done a lot of good, but every time I watch one of these, they get so much wrong, it hurts. And I'll be honest, I can't stand their accents when it is coupled with their babbling about 40k units, and getting things wrong.

Taubeast said...

To be fair, most people DO refer to the Tau as communists, though mainly because of the "everyone is equal" and "For the Greater Good!" Other than that, they don't seem to have played as a Tau army for a while, played someone who was good with Tau, or even looked them up on the internet, except for maybe on 1d4chan.

TheGraveMind said...

I had to stop watching it,
they recommended buying for the crisis suits,Jetpacks and Twinlinked plasma rifles instead of pulse carbines.

Ouch, that just hurts.

BLACKHAND said...

To be honest this is only the second time I have watched these guys fumble their way through a "review" of a product and I won't be bothering again. I can forgive the almost incomprehensible accent of the guy on the right, you can't help where your from!, but they never seem to prepare anything or do any research into the products they review. It all seems to be pulled out of their asses at the last minute, and for a website with such an obviously high budget and production value its really jarring.

Colton V. said...

As they mentioned the upcoming Tau codex, it made me rethink starting my first army as Tau. I'm not sure how good it would be to start getting models, and have them possibly changed with the new release. But who knows when that will be? I've read several different ideas, but nothing confirmed yet (that I've seen at least)

I'd just like to hear your advice on the subject: Start getting Tau now, or wait until the codex comes out?

commissar robo said...

At 5:55 i think Daryl, says the only good suit set up twin plasma and "the thrusters that allow you to move in the assault phase". Thats every suit Daryl!!!!

Webway said...

Agree - terrible review of the Tau codex. Obviously they have never played Tau, or against a descent Tau player.

BTW - they are Irish, not Scottish - and (trust me I'm Scottish) there are no fens in Scotland.

D

mh_mini said...

In a sense this was almost painful to watch. They only got one thing right, that the Tau codex is old. That's about where it stops though. They analyzed all the negative points of every unit pretty well, but they seemed to completely shoot over combining everything strategically. It seems obvious that they are Space Marine or Guard players. Tau doesn't have anything that can walk through troops in CC, like Grey Knights, and they SHOULDN'T. It would make Tau a brokenly OP faction. Not to mention go against ALL of the fluff, which they got PAINFULLY wrong.... ugh. Making a review like this they seem to make themselves to be experts but seem really uninformed. But that's just my take. I'm a brand new Tau player, though I have spent a lot of time researching strategy, I feel like didn't know what they were talking about.

Anonymous said...

It's an obvious case of did not do their research properly. Am guessing they got too focused on the mantra of the For the Greater good :p

Atreides said...

the fens (areas of flat farm and marshland) are in East Anglia, not Scotland, which is perhaps 500 miles away, and almost entirely mountainous.

geography nazi issues aside, you are quite correct, these guys are idiots.

Rathstar said...

lol - if they don't understand blocking and layering they'll never get how Tau can win any games :)

Rathstar

suneokun said...

God it's a pointless, boring and completely off kilter review.

Tau don't play like Marines, sad fat scots - eat some veg!

Big Bad Garou said...

Every time those two speak I want to scream at my computer screen about how wrong they are.

Drones are worthless? Really? I have had my gun drones line cause a charge of Marines to come to a screaming stop allowing my fire warriors to rapid fire them to death.

The entire video made me feel like they were trying to pitch Marines by saying how crappy Tau are compared to them.

Tim said...

It's almost shocking how little I know about the geography of the UK and Ireland, isn't it? Thanks for the corrections, guys. Beast of War, I apologize for my culturally insensitive comments.

@Taubeast, about communism, there really is nothing in Tau fluff that alludes to them being communists. And there is nothing in the Tau fluff that says everyone is equal, in fact, they have a very inequal society..Ethereals are above all and control everything...that is not equality.

To others, I don't want to actually stop these guys from making videos. I find them incredibly amusing. I just couldn't believe of off-base they were in this review.

Twin-linked plasma and thrusters for the WIN!

Valk said...

What Tau lacks is a good fast close combat unit...

I guess the Tau guns aren't big enough to get their attention.

shas'el mike said...

sure they get the points costs wrong. sure they recommend taking the 75pt crisis commander. sure they recommend dual plasma and jetpacks for crisis suits. but... the comments are more fun! my favorite is "i have a huge tau collection, and i can guarantee there is no way to win with this army."

uuuugggghhh. at least ATT is factually correct, and only gives well-spoken bad advice.

anucer said...

Gawd! ... That's one reason why i am getting sick of WH40k slowly (if not completly). The players' IQ seems to go down. They are reviewing something that they barely read and probably haven't tried, and let's not forget that BOW are an important figure in miniature wargaming.

Also most of their ideas are stuff dosen't even FIT the Tau empire.
It seems like the game is all about winning and insulting other armies as well as asking for more buff on stupid stuff ...
As much as i love my Tau army i can't stand this anymore : ( i play this game for fun nothing else.

Cobalt Cannon said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!




I'm still laughing! HAHAHAHA!!!!

I saw this video when it first released, and I now EXPECT to cringe and revile in disgust and disbelief at how ignorant these guys are of the products they are pitching. That's all these guys are: pitchmen, and bad at it. They all work for Wayland games, so what this website is all about is marketing. To be good at marketing, you sure better know the products that you are pitching, and these guys are the most ignorant that I have seen. I think they'd have better luck pulling a drunk out of a pub and asking him to host the videos.

I watch their vids to see the new stuff coming out, but otherwise I turn the sound off now, because I can't stand to hear these fools butcher everything.

They have recently been marketing for a game that I really like: Heavy Gear Blitz! In their videos about it, they have never ONCe gotten any single thing right. They mention the wrong factions for models to belong to. They always get setting info wrong, and they don't even know what the major factions are called. COME ON GUYS!! Put down the high cal beer and read a book once in your lives.

I'm surprised at how few people on the internet mention just how badly these guys suck at their jobs. It's too hilarious not to pick on them, and they ask for it by putting themselves out there on the internet and consistently fail at their jobs.

And what's with the gay arab hiding out in the UK to keep his head from being chopped off, and painting models on Beasts Of War broadcast across the internet just begging for the jihadis to catch up to him. Romain,.. sounds like lettuce.

Thanks Beasts of War for all the comedy and laughter you have given to me. In UK Spirit, perhaps changing their name to The Ministry Of Beasts Of War might be more appropriate.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

I'm still laughing. HAHAHAHA

BrandCAG said...

Aye, when it came out, I immediate wrote my own codex review on my local gaming forums so that people wouldn't get the wrong idea about the army. That was, as you implied, painful to watch.

Anonymous said...

A couple of good points- the codex is old, Tau BS is low considering their fluff- mixed in with the chaff. Seems like just a case of unfamiliarity/lack of research on their part. Think they play space marine/IG much? ;-)

Gredus said...

Yeah, they both have the same accent from the same country, Northern Ireland.

This video would be like me picking up a Warmachine Army book and giving a "review"

I've never played the game or read the book before so i'd be talking a load of shite!

Garnet said...

The Tau Empire isn't feudal Japan; it's an easy mistake to make, because of the generically-asian styling and the anime influence. But in terms of societal organization, there's really nothing there. The Japanese Empire, when it was working well, tended to have a figurehead emperor, a ruling noble who was the strongest warlord around, a bunch of nobility and then heaps more peasants, with no real standing army or merchant class. So, one Aun who doesn't really do anything, rule by a shas'el, nothing but XV8s (samurai), and no kor or por. And of course, nothing even close to the Tau's dynamism.

I've always found the best comparison to be Plato's Republic. You have a division into castes based on societal function, the rule of an enlightened group of leaders, a strong military force, arranged breeding, children raised in state creches, a decision to keep harmful narratives from reaching the populace (Plato, the first spin doctor!) and a strong standing military force. Even the Tau's ideology fits there, since in the Republic everyone is equally valuable to the collective, while still not being equal in terms of value or opportunity.

Tim said...

@Garnet, PLato's empire certainly sounds like the Tau, although i don't believe GW is that sophisticated. Did you click the link that I had on Feudal japan? If you subsitute Tau for Japan, then you've got almost the entire Tau fluff section. The only real difference is that Japan was not inclusive, while the Tau are.

Anonymous said...

You should get a game of Necromunda going... sooo much fun to be had.

Garnet said...

@Tim,

Yes, I read the link you provided, but I still disagree with the idea of Feudal Japan being any kind of reliable model for the Tau Empire. The fact that they had a caste system alone just isn't enough; after all, if that then why not India? And a powerless religious figurehead covering for a military dictatorship that oppresses all the other castes is about as far as you can get from the Tau fluff.

Well, maybe not in the Farisight Enclaves, actually...